By: Neil Wattier, Mental Coach for Athletes, Parents, and Coaches
My 11-year-old son was recently ejected from his Little League baseball game.
The umpire—an inexperienced teenager—had made several inconsistent and questionable strike zone calls. After a striking out looking, my son expressed his frustration. In front of everyone. And he was ejected.
Some parents thought it was an overreaction. The coach was surprised. And I?
Honestly, I was kinda glad it happened.
Not because I condone poor officiating or think my son deserved it, but because moments like this are exactly why we involve kids in sports—not just to win games, but to teach emotional regulation, accountability, resilience, and character development. And this situation opened the door to an important teaching opportunity grounded in performance psychology and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).
“Mistakes are always forgivable if one has the courage to admit them.”
– Bruce Lee
Age-Appropriate Expectations: A “Fat Strike Zone” Mindset
Let’s start with some context: these are 10-11-year-old kids. They are at a critical stage for developing both skills and character.
That’s why I teach my son to play with a “fat strike zone”—if the pitch is close, swing. Don’t hope for a walk. Learn to compete. Develop the habit of being aggressive at the plate. At this age, we’re not chasing OBP (on-base percentage), we’re developing mindset and motor patterns.
So while the umpire’s inconsistency was frustrating, the lesson wasn’t about winning or losing. It was about how we respond to frustration.
Why I’m Glad He Was Ejected
Getting ejected made the consequence real. It forced him to pause, reflect, and recalibrate. And instead of just punishing him or lecturing him, I saw it as a chance to build mental skills to benefit him far beyond the baseball field.
We used this moment to build emotional awareness and teach the ATC Model—a tool from CBT simple enough for a child and powerful enough for a pro athlete.
Using the ATC Model: Thoughts Drive Outcomes
The ATC Model stands for:
• Activating Event (the strikeout and the ump’s call)
• Thoughts (what he told himself about it—“that’s not fair,” “he’s terrible”)
• Consequences (emotional outburst, body language, behavioral response)
By working through this model with my son, he realized it wasn’t the umpire that made him act out—it was how he interpreted the situation and what he told himself in the heat of the moment.
When kids learn to understand and challenge their thoughts, they build emotional intelligence and self-control—two of the most important traits in sports and life.
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Reflection, Ownership, and Recommitment
Rather than grounding him or taking away his cell phone, we are using this as a teachable moment. I created a set of tools to guide him through the process:
1. Reflection Worksheet: Learning from a Tough Moment
We walked through the ATC model, identifying the situation, his thoughts, his emotional responses, and better choices he could make next time. This wasn’t just about the mistake—it was about building self-awareness.
2. Code of Conduct Poster
Instead of simply saying, “be better,” we made it specific. We used a concept I’ve implemented successfully with older athletes: the Above the Line / Below the Line framework.
• Above the Line behaviors are required and respectful: control your emotions, play hard, show sportsmanship.
• Below the Line behaviors are unacceptable: talking back, blaming others, giving up.
He created his own poster, choosing behaviors he wanted to commit to and drawing a bold line between helpful and harmful actions.
3. Apology and Value Recommitment Letter
He then wrote a short letter to his team, coaches, and family. This wasn’t just an “I’m sorry”—it was a statement of what he learned, how he’ll recommit to his values, and the kind of teammate he wants to be moving forward.
What This Teaches Parents and Coaches
1. Emotions Are Information, Not Enemies
Kids don’t need to toughen up by ignoring emotions. They need to learn to understand and regulate emotions. That’s what builds true toughness—emotional control under pressure.
2. Use Mistakes as Teaching Moments
Don’t rush to punish. Ask: What skill can they learn here?
Emotional intelligence, self-regulation, humility, ownership—these are the real trophies.
3. Focus on Development Over Outcomes
Sure, we want our kids to win. But if they can’t lose with grace, handle frustration, or show respect to authority—even when it’s imperfect—we’ve missed the point.
Final Thoughts
Was the ejection necessary? Maybe not. But I’m thankful it happened.
Because it gave my son a real, emotional moment to learn from—a pressure situation with stakes relevant to him. That’s the perfect training ground for mental skills for the rest of his life.
As parents and coaches, our job isn’t to shield kids from every bad call. It’s to help them build the tools to respond with self-control, character, and resilience when it happens.
That’s the kind of win I care most about.
Author’s Note:
All downloadable tools in this article were created by Arizona Mental Performance Training. They’re free to use for your team or family, unedited and credit given. If you’re a coach, feel free to distribute them to your players.
For more on developing emotionally intelligent, mentally tough young athletes, reach out at www.ArizonaMPT.com.
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