Ditch the Doom Talk: Why Positive Pre-Game Messaging Helps Athletes Thrive
- Neil Wattier
- Apr 6
- 4 min read
By: Neil Wattier, Mental Coach for Athletes, Parents, and Coaches
You’ve seen it on the sidelines—parents and coaches giving last-minute pep talks before a big game. Some are full of encouragement and belief, while others sound more like warnings: “Don’t screw this up.” “We better not lose like last time.” “If you mess up, you’re coming out.”
The intention might be to motivate. But in reality, research shows negative pre-game speeches—no matter how well-meaning—can backfire, especially for adolescent athletes. Instead of firing kids up, they may actually trigger a stress response leading to worse performance.
In contrast, a confident, positive tone can actually elevate a young athlete’s mindset and physiology, preparing them to perform at their best.
“Mistakes are always forgivable if one has the courage to admit them.”
– Bruce Lee
What the Science Says About Pre-Game Messaging
A recent study looked at how pre-game messaging affects rugby players at the professional level (Cook et al., 2012). Researchers compared hormonal responses in athletes who received positive, neutral, or negative feedback just before competition. The results were clear:
Positive feedback led to an average 15% increase in testosterone, the hormone linked to motivation, competitiveness, and drive—without increasing stress.
Negative feedback triggered a 20% spike in cortisol, the stress hormone, with no rise in testosterone. This meant athletes went into games more anxious and less focused.
The takeaway? The way we speak to athletes right before a performance changes their internal chemistry. And while this study focused on professionals, the effects may be even more pronounced in adolescents, who are still developing both physically and emotionally.
Why This Matters for Youth Sports
Teenagers are not just smaller versions of adults. They are in a critical period of identity formation, emotional regulation, and social sensitivity. They’re learning how to handle pressure—and they take their emotional cues from the adults around them.
When a coach or parent uses harsh, fear-based language before a game, it doesn’t “toughen them up.” Instead, it often increases anxiety, decreases confidence, and undermines their ability to focus on what matters.
On the other hand, supportive communication can help young athletes tap into their potential, feel trusted, and focus on the process—not just the outcome.
What Positive Messaging Looks Like
This doesn’t mean you need to be overly cheerful or sugarcoat mistakes. Positivity doesn’t mean pretending everything is perfect—it means choosing language to build confidence, reinforce preparation, and support emotional regulation.
Here are some examples:
Instead of this:
“Don’t mess this up like last time.”
Say this:
“You’ve worked hard. Go out there and trust your training.”
Instead of this:
“We better win or it’s going to be a long ride home.”
Say this:
“Focus on effort, attitude, and being a great teammate. That’s what we control.”
Instead of this:
“If you make a mistake, I’m pulling you out.”
Say this:
“Play bold. Mistakes happen—just reset and keep going.”
Positive messaging isn’t about being soft. It’s about being smart—coaching the person, not just the player. It’s about helping young athletes get into their optimal performance state instead of flooding them with stress.
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The Role of Parents
Parents, your role is just as important—maybe even more so. You are the first and last voice they hear on game day. Here are three ways you can help your athlete mentally prepare:
Be a calm presence. Avoid bringing your stress into their world. Stay grounded, even if you're nervous.
Focus on effort, not outcome. Praise their preparation, their attitude, and their growth—not just the score.
Support their autonomy. Let the game be their experience. Ask open-ended questions like “How are you feeling about today?” instead of giving directives.
What Coaches Can Do
Coaches, you set the tone for the entire team. Your pre-game talk is more than tradition—it’s a performance tool. Use it wisely.
Emphasize what’s within their control: effort, focus, communication.
Reinforce their strengths and preparation.
Give permission to make mistakes and recover.
Remind them their value is not tied to their performance.
Most of all, remind them you believe in them. Belief is a powerful catalyst for confidence.
Final Thoughts: Choose to Be Intentional
The words you say before a game matter. Not because they’re magic, but because they affect how your athlete feels, thinks, and performs. For adolescent athletes—who are often balancing the stress of school, identity, friendships, and competition—a few well-chosen words of encouragement can be the difference between a game full of dread and a performance full of possibility.
So the next time you gather your team or pull your kid aside before kickoff, remember: your tone sets the temperature. Choose words that light a fire, not ones that burn bridges.
Let’s raise athletes who are resilient, confident, and ready to perform—not afraid to fail. That starts with the adults in their corner.
Reference
Cook, C. J., & Crewther, B. T. (2012). The effects of different pre-game motivational interventions on athlete free hormonal state and subsequent performance in professional rugby union matches. Physiology & behavior, 106(5), 683–688. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.physbeh.2012.05.009
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